You're Here.....

Oh my God......

I did it...I wrote it....I actually wrote it...I finally did it.....

for almost 4 years this 4 measure chorus melody line has been in my fingers, inside me....tugging at my soul....begging me to give it an ending....to give it a beginning.....to give it life....making me sure i would never forget it even though i lost hope that i would never have the honor and the ability to give it life...to nurture it.....to help it grow.......to be...

but it had a soul...a soul calling out to me...begging me....and i think my soul...my inspiration finally answered....my soul finally returned the unrequited love to the melody..the unrequited love the song had for my lost of hope........the unrequited love the song had for me......

i wrote it...i wrote it....the song....i can't believe it....4 years!....it finally came out...i'm fighting back tears...odd that it came at the end of another bad day of looking and not finding work...odd it came on a day when another passion of mine did not get its just due....but this...you....my song....i wrote you.....just like i wrote "Before You Break My Heart..."....just like I wrote "Rise..."....i can't believe it......i finally wrote you....after all these years.....

wow....thank you for choosing me to serve as your vessel as you begged me all these years to give you life when all i had was a shadow of a skeleton.....all i had was doubt...

you are here....wow....i wrote you.....my song...............my song......

Susan Boyle

I'm sorry guys for not being active on my blog...I'm looking for a job and that is taking my time....My music and singing training and belly dance training have suffered drastically also...only thing is flamenco because I luckily get those classes for free and luckily from a phenomenal teacher...

However, I had to write a little note about... Susan Boyle... I'm upset, irrate, annoyed, bothered, saddened at people's reactions to Susan Boyle's magnificent singing voice. People are astonished, and some have gotten tears in their eyes because how amazed they are by her beautiful singing voice. People are celebrating her voice like she's the next coming of something holy.

Why is that? Is it because she doesn't look like, Shakira, Beyonce, Leona Lewis, Britney Spears, Halle Berry?...What does that say? If someone came on any stage and had some comparable beauty to the aforementioned or some other beauty queen, people wouldn't for the most part initially doubt on their singing abilities. They start on a blank slate. However, a 47 year woman who is not a size 2 with long flowing hair, who doesn't fit the typical model or barbie look is automatically looked upon as not as talented even before she has opened her mouth.

People started to laugh at Susan Boyle before she even opened her mouth! Sickening.

I don't have the most amazing singing voice. that's a fact. I don't look like the aforementioned celebrities. that's a fact. But i've come to realize that maybe we need to go back to the days where there wasn't music videos. When it was all based on the voice. Maybe then people wouldn't be as surprised that someone who doesn't look like Cindy Crawford can sing.

This is some of the reason why we have these sickening views on beauty, in particular of women. They have to feel like they have to look like something to be given a chance. I think Christina Aguilera stated some time ago that there were singers/backup singers a whole lot better and more talented than her. However, because they dont' look a certain way, they won't ever be given a chance.

Does Susan Boyle fit in that category?....Luckily her voice on national tv somehow gave her a chance and people's misconceptions on her talent and her looks...

If you are one of those people who laughed at her or simply somewhat doubted her...due to your views on beauty and now you are celebrating her talent....you should be ashamed of yourself...

P.S. here's the video since it can't be embedded...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related